


Doors unlocked and open

by Sourcherrymagiks



Series: Your Ex Lover is Dead [6]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Door Sex, Idiots in Love, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:14:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22883107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sourcherrymagiks/pseuds/Sourcherrymagiks
Summary: Simon Snow has me pinned up against the door. That in itself is not unusual. He’s an unsubtle brute who acts on whatever impulse takes him.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Your Ex Lover is Dead [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1593220
Comments: 20
Kudos: 163





	Doors unlocked and open

Baz

Simon Snow has me pinned up against the door. That in itself is not unusual. He’s an unsubtle brute who acts on whatever impulse takes him. We have to buy very sturdy furniture and repaint regularly.

Today is different only in the sense that I’m facing into the wall with my back to his chest. It’s a very poor position for kissing and, Crowley, does he like to kiss. He’s an absolute master at it too, although I’d never tell him that while he’s listening.He knows exactly when to slide his tongue against mine, precisely when to bite on my lip, specifically when to tilt his chin. A good kiss from him can wreck me for hours. When I’m going about my life I find myself running my tongue over my lips, trying to recapture the taste of him. There is very little as interesting in the rest of the world as there is in his hot, demanding mouth.

That mouth is on my neck right now, sucking a bruise that will fade within the hour. He’s twined his right hand into mine where they are shoved up against the door frame. His warm, sweaty paw gripping my fingers just on the edge of far too tightly.

His left hand has me in an equally insistant grip, it’s under the waistband of my jeans, tugging my at my hip, pulling me flush against him. The whole of his ridiculously broad chest is pushing into me. I would , quite honestly, be concerned about breathing but I’m not sure it’s of consequence to a vampire. Even if it was I think I’d probably let him crush me if it meant another minute of this.

I’m about to stop holding in a mouthful of most impolite language, through which I intend to suggest some rather lewd behaviour , when he kicks my ankle. I guess he’s trying to kick my legs apart. I don’t move but that was Hard.

“Anathema, ouch, What are you doing Snow?” It’s not the conversation I’d been hoping for.

First I think he might be angry. Then I realise it’s more complicated than that. The tension is even in his fingertips.

“I just forgot about, erm, that you, that I can’t, you know, overpower you a bit” his voice trails off towards the end in the same way that his hand fades from my waist.

If he was just pouting it would be fine. I can handle sulking but this runs a bit deeper.

I sigh as I realise I’m going to have to say some of those things that I like to leave poetically unsaid. I’ll be hung drawn and fucking quartered before I’ll let him off easily though.

I turn to face him and on my inhale, draw myself up to full height and step right into his space, so close he can’t even look up at me comfortably.

Then I step forward again.

Simon

I have to scramble back a half step to avoid toppling over. I’ve wound him up to something. I almost forget that I’m the one that was having feelings because, fuck me, he looks full of them. He takes another step forward and I move slightly back. He’s so close that I can hear the fabric of his trousers rasping against my jeans, the slight ‘clink’ of his belt buckle hitting mine. He puts his hand on my elbow and keeps moving forward . Never conceding an inch of space, just guiding me backwards until I feel the arm of the couch against my legs. He’s still coming for me, right into my space (what space? There’s no space).

I execute the most smooth move that I’ve ever pulled off and slide around the armrest until I’m sat on the couch. I’m a bit shell shocked to be honest. I’m still trying to be upset or angry about something. Something is not right inside me. This isn’t helping.

The graceful fucker materialises in front of me and then sits on the coffee table facing me.

“So my love, we have a slight problem that you had to test out, yes?”

I nod stupidly. Perhaps he can help after all.

I expect more words but instead he starts taking off my boots, the socks, running his hands over my ankles, the tops of my feet and then his teasing fingernails on the soles just hard enough to not tickle.

“Take your jeans off Snow.”

I dunno what the actual fuck is going on here but I find myself undoing my belt, then buttons, then shoving my jeans down over my hips. As soon as the fabric is free from my weight he finishes the job. I’m half hard again in spite of the tug inside me, the black hole opening up.

His mouth on my ankle sends little shudders right through me and sudden I think I’m catching on. His lips are cool against my skin as he licks at me. I’m sighing now, letting myself sink into the sensation.My legs fall open and he grins up at me.

Baz

The moment he gets it, the moment he surrenders to it is beautiful. The harsh lines around his mouth smooth, his breathing evens out, he unclenches his fists (I don’t think he even knew they were clenched).

I sit back on my heels and take him in. Golden curls, blue eyes, freckles giving way to moles, smiling again, letting go.

“Wank for me Snow.”

His eyebrows shoot up. I know he was expecting something else from me. And he’ll get that too. But first.

“Now darling, not in your own time” I give him a bit of a snarl which more than does the trick. He’s so utterly and wonderfully predictable and I do so relish an opportunity to be insightful.

He still looks a bit uncertain but his hand is sure as he pushes his pants down and frees his cock. He’s only half hard but I’m sure we can find a fairly quick solution for that.

I catch his eye and lick my lips. The combination of his own hand and whatever licentious thought my licking provoked is enough to wake his beautiful cock with an overly dramatic twitch (is there a human being on earth who makes such a production out of tiny movements?).

My hands have been idle while I watched him but my fingers are aching to touch him. Patience is always in short supply and difficult to wrangle when I’m this close to him.

But.

Today I have to wait.

This is not just about what it’s about.

Simon

When he’s looking at me like that, telling me to wank for him and licking his stupid beautiful lips what the fuck am I supposed to do? I haven’t got the kind of willpower that a human with eyes would need to resist this gorgeous git when he wants summat. When he wants me.

Even if I don’t quite know where this is going I think I’m happy to go with it. He’s always got a plan. Usually his plans end well. If you call sticky, sweary, mind numbing bliss ending well (I do).

I try not to close my eyes but looking into his is driving me mental. I want. I need.

"Baz, please? Please?"

He lightly pats the inside of my knee with two fingers, my legs fall open even wider until I’m spread out for him. He tilts his pretty face to one side like he does when I’m really puzzling him (or vexing him).

"Take the rest of your clothes off Snow, they are spoiling my view.”

I really want to give him some back chat or make him work a bit harder for it. Except I don’t at all. For some reason all this bossy certainty is hot as fuck. I’m just going to roll with it.

I let go of my cock with a grumble and slip my pants down over my hips and arse. I expect Baz to pull them off but he’s not moving so I do it myself.

He nods approvingly before beckoning to my t shirt. I rip it a bit pulling it off. It happens.

I’m a bit breathless with anticipation? Frustration? Who the hell knows?

I get my hand back where I need it. No gentle strokes this time. I fuck my fist and groan at the relief of it.

There’s a slight pressure on my knee again, the cool reminder sets a fire inside me. I spread my legs wide again and try not to groan when I see him looking at me like this, wide open for him, exactly as he asked, right where he wanted me.

“Gorgeous love, tilt your arse up though so I can see it all. that’s better”

How is he so calm when he’s asking to look at my arsehole? How is he so calm full stop?

I have a choice I suppose. I can keep doing as I’m told which is _good_ or I can wreck him which I think would be better.

I slip a finger down and circle it around my hole. It makes me moan and whine but I want Baz to do it. I want him to touch me.He looks mildly intrigued.

“Enough of that, if you behave I’ll give you what you need.”

I nod dumbly at him.

Baz

If he doesn’t stop I’m going to plunge my finger into him and that’s not the plan at all. It’s not what he needs today.

I kiss the inside of his thigh, just above his knee. The jagged little moan he gives is lush.

“Tell me love, tell me what was going on?"

I litter kisses up the inside of one thigh while I idly pet the inside of the other. Simon grits his teeth and spits out “Testing, I was testing.”

“Tell me Snow, what did you find out?"

He gasps at me pathetically when I nip at him.

“I thought, but I don’t, I need you to, please.”

He so lovely like this, scrambling for words and air and me. He’s a mess.

“There’s no need to test love, I’ve got you, you’re safe here. But no more anything that would trigger anathema please. There is no need to be that version of you here.”

“Ok, yes, no, Baz yes.”

“Snow, words please.”

“Yes.”

“Good, carry on wanking now please, I need to see you come”

He looks simultaneously disappointed and aroused. But he does as I ask and frankly it might be the most delicious thing I’ve ever seen. He can’t go slow or tease, I’ve had him wait far too long. Each movement of his hand is desperate. He’s trying to bite back the sounds that are tumbling out of him, trying to close his eyes.

"Look at me Snow, no cheating"

He tries to give me a glare so I undo my top button. Then the next one.

Simon

I hate this fucking prat. Except that I don’t. But it is unfair that he gets to sit there giving me orders that I just obey. Or maybe not because that’s really hot. I don’t know. I just want.

He’s trying to be all cool and vampirey but he can’t keep his eyes on one bit of me. They keep flicking up from my cock to my face and then back again. He’s going to break that coffee table if he squeezes it any harder and I’m jealous because I want his hands on me.

I’m so close and I want but I want him too

"Baz, Touch, now"

He looks for a moment like he’s going to be a knob but then changes his mind and leans forward just enough to rest his hands on my knees, forcing them even further apart. Embarrassingly it’s enough.

Baz

I don’t know where to look, haven’t known where to look for a while now. I’m totally flustered and I fucking need him but who could resist this. My blood appears to be both bubbling and pulsing to fast. I’m far too warm. All of this is making unreasonably riled up. I feel close myself.

His voice begging me to ’touch’ is dry and desperate and I want to.

He is completely undone when I lean into him. The shudders that rip through him echo deep in my gut, stoking the fire that’s already raging there. There is something so beautiful about the way he lets go completely as he comes, it’s only that I need to see this, need to see his face that stops me putting my mouth on him before he comes. There is nothing stopping me after. He arches into me as I take him in my mouth sighing and sucking through the waves of his orgasm. He tangles his hands in my hair and thrusts lazily into my mouth.

“Is that all you’ve got Snow?“ I ask with my mouth still a little full.

“You know it’s not Pitch, get your fingers in me please?”

The last of my self control unravels as I shakily pour lube over my fingers. He looks at me like I’m his next meal. Or maybe a pastry. Something he wants.

He lets me tease and nudge and slide my finger just inside, the flutters and trembles look beyond delicious and feels like he always does, like too much of everything all at once.

The deeper I press the quieter he goes. Simon is never quiet during sex.

“You ok love?” I cant keep the anxiety out of my voice completely. I wanted him to understand that he can relax with me, I’ll set the pace. But what if I’ve driven him away? What if I’ve broken it all?

“So very ok, more, more please?”

I’m happy to oblige, he’s still quiet, even when I press in to the knuckle. I’m merciless when I pull my whole finger out all the way and slam it back in. He still silent but every other response is telling me all I need to know, urging me on, greedy for the next finger, for my hand around his cock,for my mouth on his nipple. He’s so hot now, it’s rolling off him in waves, making me gasp.

I withdraw mouth, fingers, hand and sit back on my heels leaving him squirming while I escape my clothes.

Simon

Watching him undress is a fucking opera, he’s not rushing at all. I guess he’s still in charge.

Doesn’t make me any calmer though. The want is ripping through me like a forest fire. He quirks an eyebrow as he slowly unbuttons his shirt letting it slip to the floor.

He’s fucking art. Actual art. Every muscle is defined, sculpted. It would be enough to make me sweat if I wasn’t already in a state. I get a bit transfixed by his nipple which is getting harder now he’s uncovered it. I really want to suck it. Or maybe roll it between my fingers until he pulls my hair. I definitely want to do something that involves not sitting here with my own come drying on my stomach.

“Baz please, please love?”

He’s too busy faffing with his bloody stupid trousers to react though. Before I can stop myself I’m on him, in his lap, pushing against his bare stomach. His hand goes straight up to the back of my neck, fingers tangling in my hair, tipping my head so he can bite at my neck. He’s feral, growing and savage. I moan into his mouth, louder when he slips his other hand down my back and cups my arse, pulling me into him, fingers wandering ever closer to where I actually need him to be.

The world tilts quickly and I realise what he’s up to far to late. By the time my back is against the door and legs around his waist I have to concede that he has got me. Completely.

“Ok?”

“Yes of course I fucking am you bastard”

“Manners please Snow, what would you like next?” His voice is rasping and thick with how much he wants me. I’m so tempted to be a brat.

“I’m all good thanks"

Baz

I asked for that. We need a much better system of communication that gives him no option to be an eternal torment for the joy of it. Or maybe not. It wouldn’t be Simon if everything wasn’t some sort of battle I suppose. As long as it stays a game I’m more than happy to play along.

I settle for gently kissing him along his throat, dipping my tongue into the hollow at his collarbone. He tastes of sweat and cinnamon and I may never get enough of him. Such a thing might be as impossible as it is undesirable.

I can easily hold him up with one arm which leaves my other hand free to continue where we left off before he hurled himself into my lap. His arse flutters delicately under my finger but I’m still not getting quite the reaction I want. This calls for less subtle measures.

The guttural groan he gives as I work my finger inside him makes me ache. The heat of him, the pull of him, the way it always feels like I know this, like I know him.

I crook my finger and apply pressure just slightly off where he needs me. Then I do it again. He tries to shift his weight to nudge my finger but I’ve got him far too tightly. I do it again but with two fingers causing another tussle which gets him nothing. The third finger makes him growl and arch his back and finally, finally

"Fuck me love, please?"

I could tease some more, make him beg but fuck all of that.

I pull my fingers out to push my trousers down and try to push away thoughts of how utterly wrecked all of my clothes are going to be from this. I didn’t really plan to fuck him against a door with my trousers round my ankles but it would be churlish to complain.

“Can I spell you Snow?” The lube is very far out of my reach. So is my wand. Fuck.

“I think I can do it?”

“Try”

He closes his eyes partway and breathes deep. It’s still as unbelievably, undeniably gorgeous as it was the first time in our room at Watford. Except we aren’t creating galaxies today. Yet.

Simon

It’s both a bloody waste of magic and a bit dangerous but it’s likely to be more out of control if I get anymore worked up.

I can’t believe it works.

“Now Baz please”

Merlin, it’s a a whole new kind of hot when he shifts me into position. I grunt and gasp when he sinks into me. Every time is amazing, every time is new and this is fucking beyond.

I’m gripping his shoulder far, far too tightly and pulling his hair with my other hand. He’s responding by driving into me hard. I doubt it’s as hard as he can because the door is still on its hinges.

He shifts me slightly and his gorgeous cock hits me right in the...

“Fucking fuck Baz, there, keep, fuck”

He does.

Right there.

The tingling starts in my toes and fingers and knots together in my stomach. Everything is shaking. I can’t even tell him or talk to him or scream at him or do anything except shudder around him.

Baz

He’s a mess. A beautiful sloppy mess. I’m not going to last much longer but he’s not either if the shuddering is anything to go by.

“Simon, love.”

His response is a gasp and a shudder so violent that it tips me right over the edge.

The world explodes in sparks and sunbeams around me. Then he’s right there too, magic pulsing as he trembles in my arms.

I could stay like this for always. Or at least I could if the door want making some very concerning noises.

He gives me a disgruntled string of expletives when I lift him off and lower him down. He’s still got his full weight pressed into me. Which is fortunate because the door is one good shove away from being a floor.

“Simon, love, I think we broke the house”

He laughs into my mouth and kisses and kisses me.

When he comes up for air I finally manage to get my trouser from around my ankles and flop down on the couch dragging him with me. I flick my wand toward the door and give it a **Good as new** and then we fall about in giggles again.

“Pitch I never suspected you were such a brute”

He sighs in to my neck as he says it and I briefly consider fucking him up against a sturdier wall but I’m too exhausted and I don’t want to drop him on his beautiful arse.

“I’m more than a match for you Snow”

“Mostly love”


End file.
